Silent Night
by SgtPastulio
Summary: SetoxOC. It's November, why are there carolers at the Kaiba estate? Body heat is the best kind of heat. One-Shot.


"You know, you wouldn't be freezing if you didn't dress like a Hooters waitress and actually put on clothes for once."

Ren blew a sharp stream of air from her nose, drawing the fleece blanket tighter around herself, her toes curled up beneath her and shoved into the couch cushions for warmth. "Fuck you." She swore, rubbing her arms beneath her blanket as she glared at her employer. It was nearing the end of November and Japan was in the midst of a cold snap, catching Ren completely off guard. She hadn't yet had the chance to get the rest of her winter clothes from her parents' home in the suburbs, and had been living out of the same two sweaters for the past week and a half. What warm clothes she did have were currently being washed, and for now she was stuck with pajamas.

"Is it so hard to turn the heat up?" She quipped, a shiver dancing up her spine. "I think you can afford to crank it up to seventy-five or eighty or... ninety or so..."

"The heater _is_ on, and seventy is plenty warm." Kaiba retorted from behind the couch, glancing down at the shivering ball of babysitter. "You must be some island savage if you can't handle this cold. Your language and behavior certainly makes it look like you were raised on an uncivilized island."

Ren scoffed, looking him over from head to toe. She wasn't the freak. She was normal; it was near thirty degrees outside and she was stuck wearing glorified pajamas, knee-length yoga pants and a scoop-neck thermal top. She had every right to be freezing. Now, Kaiba, on the other hand, was prancing around in work slacks and his undershirt, a thin cotton tee. And he _wasn't_ cold?

Though, she wasn't about to start complaining. She would never admit it, but Ren loved when Seto took off all of his work clothes and got down to just a tee shirt. Perhaps it was the shallow girl inside of her coming out, but to see him so casual, showing off that perfect torso just drove her wild. He was just too goddamn good looking for his own good, or for Ren to handle for that matter. He was exactly the sort of guy that she would take home, if not for his attitude and super dickery. And even if he weren't such a nob, he was her boss. She would never be able to jump on him without risking her job, or ending up in the tabloids.

But even so, she could still feel her temperature rising while staring him down. She lifted the blanket from her toes to cool herself off, she couldn't start sweating now.

"Hey, the only reason you're not cold is because you're used to it." Ren smirked, glancing at him from over her shoulder, catching his eye and holding the stare for a few moments, "Your heart is already frozen, you were the prince of ice to begin with."

"If it keeps me from being an idiot, I'll take it."

"Yeah, it's really not that cold, Ren." Mokuba piped up, placing a steaming mug of tea on the coffee table in front of her, sitting down and taking a sip from his own mug. Ren hung her head, crossing her arms beneath her blanket.

"You're killing me, Mokuba, I thought you were on my side." She pouted, reaching for the ceramic mug to warm her hands. She inhaled the sweet smell of ginger as she brought the tea to her nose. "It figures, you two have the same DNA. Ice princes, I swear to god..."

"If the shoe fits." Mokuba grinned, sticking his tongue out between his teeth, winking at the young nanny, "And I'm not as mean as him, anyway. I made you tea. When was the last time Seto made you tea?"

Ren smiled, gingerly taking a sip of the scalding beverage and burning the tip of her tongue. "Ouch... I know, I know, and I'm glad. You've got amnesty for now. But it won't last forever, punkass."

A rich bell rang throughout the manor, one, two, three chimes and it faded, silencing the trio in the living room. Ren glanced between the brothers. Both shared a look of utter puzzlement. If the doorbell was ringing and neither of them were expecting a visitor, things were not normal.

"Go get the door, Kuroki."

"Fuck you, I'm not your maid." She protested, bringing the mug to her lips once again. "Don't bother getting the door, just let them take the hint. They'll go away eventually. Nobody's home, they'll get it."

"**Get the door**, Miss Expendable." Kaiba repeated, shoving the back of Ren's head, effectively splashing tea up into her face and onto her cleavage. She slammed the mug back onto the coffee table, throwing up her hands in defeat. She threw her blanket onto the couch and wiped her mouth on the back of her hand, shooting Kaiba a glare that could have stunned a small animal. He smirked as she stalked off to answer the door, giving a short 'ha!' as she mumbled, _'fucking asshole...'_

She peered through the frosted window by the door; a red mass was standing on the threshold, unmoving. Unlocking the deadbolt, she opened the door to a chorus of 'Blue Christmas' from the group of ten women standing on the doorstep. "It's just carolers, Kaiba!" Ren hollered back into the house, leaning in the door frame and studying the women carefully. There were a few strange things about these carolers.

They all looked to be between the ages of twenty and thirty.

They were all women, and semi-attractive women to boot.

Not one of them was looking at their music. They were all staring past Ren, into the house.

They were singing Christmas carols in November.

"It's fucking November." Ren whipped her head around to find Seto standing just behind her in the hallway, his arms crossed and his face set in a stony stare. "Get off of my property."

A shrill shriek of glee sent Ren's hand clapping against her ear, one of the women almost crying with excitement. "There he is!"

Ren had no time to react, no time to slam the door, and no time to slap the lockdown button. The small horde of women burst through the doorway, shoving the babysitter to the ground and lunging after Kaiba, who promptly turned tail and ran, taking the stairs three at a time as he fled.

"Shit..." Ren cursed, shoving herself to her feet and shaking her head, trying to steady herself. Bitches were ruthless! But she couldn't worry about herself, she had to find Mokuba. If one of those women tried to kidnap him for ransom, or something, Ren had no idea, she would be in serious trouble with the big Kaiba. A never ending lecture, termination, a possible lawsuit, jail time, bail, no money, Top Ramen dinner for the next five years...

"Mokuba!" She hollered, slamming the door behind her and sprinting up the stairs. She was _not_ going to jail, and she would Inot/I be subsiding on Top Ramen until the end of time. She would find the kid, keep him safe from the crazies, and keep her job. "Mokuba, fuckin'...! Shit, panic room!"

Ren rounded a corner on the second floor and found about half of the group of nutters stalled in the hallway. "Where did he go!?" One of them wailed, stomping her foot, her lower lip stuck out in an angry pout. Ren froze. Perhaps they were like tyrannosaurus rexes... If she didn't move, maybe they wouldn't see her.

"Hey!" Ren cursed inwardly. One of the group had spotted her, and was now pointing. "She knows where he is!"

Nope, not T-Rexes. These ladies were raptors. Ren turned and sprinted in the opposite direction, barreling down the hallway, looking for a room she knew she could lock herself in and hide. Her heart was racing and her chest was heaving as she ran, and she cursed herself with every step. _'Mokuba and Kaiba better have hidden themselves well!'_

She turned a corner and felt a sharp tug around her waist, and she was suddenly submersed in darkness, her back pressed against what felt like a suede coat, and her chest not far from what she supposed was another chest. "Oh my g--!"

Kaiba held his hand to Ren's mouth, keeping her silent as he strained to hear the horde of women just outside in the hallway. Their groans of disappointment soon faded to silence, and he lifted his hand from her face, a loud gasp escaping her as she sucked in mouthfuls of air.

"Your fucking fangirls are insane!" Ren hissed, her voice hushed so as to not expose their hiding spot. She glanced around, her eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness. They were in the fucking coat closet. Of all the rooms he could have hidden himself in, he had chosen the goddamn coat closet. And the teeny one to boot! They were crammed together in all of three feet of closet, stuck there until the police arrived, or until they finally got bored and left.

"Where is Mokuba?" Kaiba whispered. She shrugged, fishing into her yoga pants for her cell phone, thankful for deep pockets.

_"Panic room?"_ She texted the younger Kaiba. His reply was swift:

_"Bedroom. Called the police. Will let you know when it's safe."_

Ren nodded, shoving the Blackberry back into her pocket. "He's okay. He's called the cops, we just need to wait on his text to come out."

"This is just what I need..." Kaiba sighed, and though she couldn't see it, Ren knew that he was rolling his eyes. She expelled a sigh of her own, her head lolled back, staring at the ceiling as she waited for Mokuba's text. Minutes passed and passed, and her knees and feet began to ache. This sucked. It would have been so much more convenient to get stuck in one of the bedrooms, or hell, even one of the bathrooms. But no. The opportune room for Kaiba to hide in? A fucking coat closet.

She glanced down at her phone after what felt like an eternity. Twenty minutes. "Time sure flies when you're having fun." She scoffed, crossing her arms, rubbing her sides to generate friction. Her heart rate had slowed to normal, and Ren was cold again. But of course, she thought, rolling her eyes as goose pimples began to surface on her bared chest. Today was just not her day.

"You're cold _again_?" Kaiba quipped, her elbows bumping into his chest as she struggled to create friction to warm herself. She chose to not dignify his query with a response, and that was good enough for him. He sighed, rolled his eyes, and slid to the floor of the closet, giving her arm a solid yank. "Get down here."

"No, wait! St--!" His second tug effectively brought Ren to her knees, straddling Seto's hips with her chest pressed against his, arms around his neck, her breath hot on his shoulder. Well... She had to admit, positioning-wise, this was much more comfortable than standing. However, this had to be one of the most awkward things she had ever done. She was effectively straddling her boss's fucking pelvis, her tea-sticky boobs shoved up against his chest, what cleavage she did have popping right out in his face.

"If you get a hard-on, I'll murder you, I swear to god."

He laughed aloud, shaking his head, his cheek brushing against her forehead. "In your dreams."

"I don't give a shit who you are, I swear to god, Seto Kaiba."

"I don't care how much grinding on me you do, Kuroki, we'll be here all night if it's _you_ giving me a lap dance."

"What!?" Ren snapped, broken out of her discomfort. She leaned away from him, her head cocked forward. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

Kaiba scoffed, a smirk splitting his face, "It means you've got to be a ten or higher to even think about getting me up. And you are no ten."

Ugly? Ren sneered at the millionaire, her lip curled in contempt. He was calling her ugly. Ren sure as hell was _not_ ugly, and she knew it. She knew she wasn't the hottest thing out there, but she was definitely no lower than a seven! She was going to make sure that Seto Kaiba ate his words.

Before logic could snap her back to reality, Ren had her lips pressed to Seto's. Oh, but this was nice... It had been so long, _too _long since she had properly been with a man, even _kissed_ a guy... And she had been eyeballing Kaiba for the past few months, too. In her lust-hazed mind, this couldn't have been more perfect.

Seto hadn't quite been expecting a kiss after all of the picking he had done, and quite honestly, he was fully prepared for her to snap back with some angry verbal lashing. Though he really couldn't complain. He knew that Ren was cute, he just didn't like to let her know like she did. She was less than subtle with her staring, and Seto liked to pick out the sexy little details bit by bit from afar. That mischievous gleam in her eye, the deliberate unkempt styling of her hair, the cut of her tops that showed off _just enough_ cleavage (and that little peek of bra. Hearts today?), that acid tongue that he had no idea what was doing, but he just knew was _fantastic_.

A soft mewl escaped her as his hand slid up her shirt, her neck arched back in approval as his fingers skimmed just beneath the cup of her bra. And _that_. That had to have been one of the sexiest things he'd ever heard. No pornstar moaning and screaming like the girls he brought home, this was the real shit. He let out a low groan as her teeth grazed his neck, tongue darting out to soothe the soft flesh.

"Perfect, there, Ren..." He groaned, long fingers tangled in her hair, while his other hand busied himself with beneath her shirt. He caught her mouth once again in a kiss, holding her in place with the hand at her head. Seto suddenly wished he had taken advantage of his public school experience. If he had known all high school girls were like Ren, he would have perhaps gone to more parties if Seven Minutes in Heaven was involved.

"Where have you been!? I've been calling you both for the past twenty minutes, the police have--!" Light flooded into the confined space of the closet as Mokuba yanked open the door. He fell silent, Seto quickly withdrawing his hand from beneath Ren's top, the babysitter leaning as far as possible from the CEO. A mad blush exploded across her cheeks as the teen stared into the closet, utterly speechless.

"...I'm gonna just... go..." Mokuba pressed his lips together tight, before turning on his heel and walking off, leaving the tangled pair to right themselves on their own. Ren's shirt was yanked down, her bra exposed (it **was** white and pink hearts), one sleeve pulled down her bicep, her hair fluffed and mussed in the back. There was a light peach stain on the collar of Kaiba's shirt, as well as a dark mark blooming across his neck. Ren coughed, yanking her shirt back up, a hand pressed against Seto's shoulder, bracing her jelly legs as she made to get up. She paused as she became more aware of her senses and surroundings. There was a very firm pressure between her legs, pressing against her in a way she knew only too well.

Kaiba cursed to himself as Ren smirked down at him. She knew. Of course she knew, she was wearing yoga pants, she'd have to be sitting between the Great Wall to not feel what he had packing.

"So according to _your_ logic..." She pressed her lips to his in a long kiss, finally parting with a soft smack. "... I'm a ten. Good to know."

Ren finally rose from his lap, sauntering off down the hallway, stumbling a few steps as she slowly regained feeling in her legs. Kaiba sighed, his head thumping against the wall of the closet. "Looks like it."


End file.
